i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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