Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
