So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
do herpes really smell.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after