Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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