I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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