..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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