: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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