Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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