i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My first STD was from a foam party
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
