ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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