He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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