does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize