This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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