You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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