I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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