So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
