You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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