I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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