Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
