That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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