I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
