she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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