It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just invented taco cereal.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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