Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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