Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
