bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
