I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
