Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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