Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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