3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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