is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
