He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize