I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
