everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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