I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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