Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
