New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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