Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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