Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
