and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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