I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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