so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize