Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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