i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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