Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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