who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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