Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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