Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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