Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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