I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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