I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
