Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
