so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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