Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
