Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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