he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
