so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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