Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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