I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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