Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
